Sunday, May 24, 2009
22May - (mis)Adventure. As my usual routine, its ecp, after cycling to a secluded area, i would sit down and start sketching or thinking.
I found out that i had already reached a decision long before i started thinking. when i thought of the person i love, his face was not there. and that is when i knew that what that had kept me going all these while is hopes and dreams. Its also a pity, after so many years, it did not work out.
rather coincidentally , just when i had decided that i would want to complete the deed that very night. but he actually asked me out this sunday. instead of the joy that i had felt previously, i dread saying yes.
yet i cannot picture myself with him anymore, its painful for me to acknowledge that the only form of communication that we had is now in shreds. We stop replying each other's sms. From a pathetic number of 3-6, it became 1. and i am well aware that he may sms and communicate with any of his random friends more than me.
This makes me understand deeper what am i exactly to him.
Without love or passion. there is simply no reason for me to stay. and i am not going to delude myself any further.
22 May - Night AdventureWent out wif timo, after getting home, cleaned and ate dinner. Y do i meet him? well its for the ultimate bitching session.Forgive me for being lazy due to the recent depression, if you want to know more about the night, click
here.
I need to
SHOP. BADLY. and i need to
EAT. BADLY. i need a
HUG. BADLY TOO.
Dreamt at
1:26 AM
