Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I cnt believe, after 4 long months not posting anything here in this blog, im actually writing it in the middle of the night, simply because i cnt slp and there is nothing else which is able to entertain me.
lol. how ironic, where by not so long ago, i was still sacrificing my sleep to put up post here..
2 more days and it marks the end of the 3 year poly life which i had lead. well, some may cry as there are too much happy memories, too much happiness and joy. others may simply look back as, 3 years of life spent.
for me, it is simply a small backward glance which, it does contains lots of memories, mostly pleasant but as before, they simply means a part of me, a part of my past. many people may have found new friends, or even start a strong friendship in their poly life, but what i see behind me is simply a stepping stone to something even greater in life. i do bring many precious lessons about life home, which i feel, is somewhat other places can never teach me.
but at the end of the day. nothing seems to matter. as long as i get what i want in future phases in life. it may be deemed as heartless, or unfeeling.. but i always know better, how much i care.. when for people that does not understand, everything is insignificant to me. but, yet i know, all that i dun wish to care about of consider not having in my life, is simply because, they will be too much for me to lose.
not as if anyone would understand after me writing it down.
but what i want to do right now is to capture this feeling of helplessness. becoz what happens in the real world is, you do not have the power to control what new twist and turn life have in for you. what you can only do,
is to
accept it,
adapt it
and live with it.
some people run away from it..
some people faced it bravely..
some people, does not see whats coming..
many people were make or break in this way. people who can handle it, became the best. people who tries their best but still cnt really do it, are people who are mediocre, people who cannot take it, are people who now live in the streets or in the mental hospital.
i am not saying this because, resigning to fate is what i am good at. in fact, the best that i am at is to defy fate. defy. but there are jus times where by you know, with all the power you have in your hands, you can change things, environment and in fact EVERYTHING!
EVERYTHING, but PEOPLE.
perhaps that is why, i agree with someone's famous quote, "Hope are for the Hopeless". you can never ever hope for the better, hope for change, hope for what you wish to come true. because, when you do that, it really shows how helpless you are. how hopeless you've become.
i know deep down inside, i will have to fight anything if i want to happen. but still. i hope, i dream. simply because, i feel helpless.
and i dream..
Come Away With Me lyrics
Songwriters: Jones, Norah;Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
And I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come?
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me
Dreamt at
3:46 AM
